Cling to the verse in Phil 1v5-6 Cerys , God bless you for your honesty,
For the past few weeks I have been struggling to write. Partly because it's just been a busy time with Christmas etc, and partly because I have been really stressing about what the next blog should be. I love writing, I always have and I find it really helpful to put down on paper (screen) how I'm feeling. Somehow it gets it out of my mind and external from my being, and therefore I am able to direct and arrange it so it makes more sense. While it's inside my mind...it gets jumbled up with other thoughts and feelings and I get overload.
Even though I love to write, I still find the act of sitting down in a quiet space and thinking on purpose quite overwhelming...I enjoy it, but still, that doesn't really help when I'm faced with my depression. Even the things I love, things that I know will help, seem like a huge task...hence the vast gap between blogs.
A while ago I was reading an article about building a website...and the header was ‘How to eat an Elephant’. Catchy, I thought. So I continued to read. It went on to say that doing something as big as building a website, takes time...to get the right look, specific information displayed clearly, target audience etc and if done in small steps or bite size pieces, it will get done.
So with this in mind I thought about all the things that had been weighing me down over the last few weeks...and trust me, aside from Christmas, work, normal daily routine and moving house...there wasn't much headspace left. So I had to take each day as it come and break my day down into bitesize pieces. I felt fatigued and very stressed out most of the time, and some things I had on my list some days didn't get done, but I managed the important things even if most people didn't get a Christmas card from me, I had still managed to get up and dressed, feed myself and the children, get to work each shift and still manage to wrap Christmas presents before the big day. I had accomplished somethings. Little by little. To most people, these are the things that are done without much thought or effort. But for a manic depressive...not so much. But you know what? That's ok….and anyone else struggling with “simple” things...you're doing great. Just keep going!
So now I finally managed to sit and write...which I love.
So….how do you eat an Elephant you ask??
One bite at a time.
P.s. I don't Love eating elephants!! ….oh...and no elephants were harmed in the production of this blog. ?
Philippians 1:5-6The Message (MSG)
“There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.”